Sleeping Lessons

The new semester started today (yesterday actually, but for me it started today ;).

So on my way to class I parked the usual 15 minutes away from campus (if you’ve ever tried to park at BYU you know what I’m talking about) and just as I’m getting to the outer fringe of campus I walk past an empty, parked SUV with the keys in the ignition, engine running, doors unlocked, and windows down…. My first though was “weird” my second thought was “if I were a less-honest person I could hop in that car and drive off” and my final thought was “he’s going to feel really stupid when he comes back and his car is gone.”

So I went to class for 3 hours. (One class, 3 hours, but it was good. I think I am really going to enjoy this spring term.) Then, on my way back there it was: the same SUV in the same spot, keys in the ignition, engine running, doors unlocked, and windows down…. “weird!”

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I recently became a foosball addict. At work we have a real professional-type foosball table in the break room, and when I first started working there everyone who was anyone played it for almost every break they had. I played a couple of games back then just to fill-in when they were desperate for a 4th guy. I wouldn’t necesarilly say I sucked; I played about as good as you would expect a normal person to play foosball, but these guys seemed to be playing another game entirely. It turns out there’s a lot more to foosball than hitting the ball as hard as you can in the right direction. Anyway, most of the guys that were really serious about it have been gone for a long time now and the foosball table hasn’t been maintained in a couple of years.

That was, until a few weeks ago. Some coworkers and I started playing and it spread like an infection. So yesterday we cleaned up the playing surface (it was disgusting), cleaned up the foosballs, cleaned up the players, and oiled the bars, etc. Playing a few games a day with the few good players that are still around has been a lot of fun. I’m at the point where I can more than hold my own and the competition is getting intense.

If you’ve never played a real competetive game of foosball you’re missing out. I think it’s the most fun I’ve ever had in an office setting (saying a lot, I know). It comes at a really good time though because things were starting to get a little tense at work with the lay-offs and everyone working so hard all the time trying not to get canned. Don’t get me wrong, hard work is great, but you can only sprint for so long before you start to hate your job. So it’s been nice to relax a little and really enjoy going to work again.

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So I guess I have to post again after last night’s post. I didn’t expect that anyone would actually read it until maybe another week or so had passed and somebody accidentally hit my blog. Sadly, I didn’t account for those pesky RSS feeds.

Last night’s blog post was the product of taking in months worth of noxious back-biting in single evening, letting it fester for a couple hours, and finally needing a place to unload it. I must have drafted at least 10 emails and another 5 blog posts before I was finally able to write something coherent. In short, something had to give, and it did.

In hindsight, I’ve been reminded once again of why I try to avoid this kind of toxic discourse we so affectionately call social drama, as nothing truly good ever came of it.

Finally, I have to revise my numbers a bit. 100% of the human population has a festering cesspool of disgust and hate buried somewhere deep inside their persona. You just don’t get to see it very often because it stays hidden behind a generally decent exterior. I apologize to those people I offended.

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and yet have very little to say.

I used to truly believe that, deep down (further down for some than others) 90% of the human population were good people. I’m now convinced it’s more like 10% of people are good inside, and 90% are a festering cespool of disgust and hate. (Some hide it better than others, so my numbers could still be off a bit)

So, what would happen if we all dispensed with the niceties, the falsehoods, the decency, and the platitudes? I can’t begin to imagine, but I got a taste of it today and I am still at a loss to describe how it made me feel.

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I realize I’m a day early here, but I just spent the better part of the last 4 hours thinking about it and I decided I should put it in writing before I change my mind. My new year’s resolution is:

I will not spend any money.

By that I mean I won’t spend money on anything I want to buy. Of course I can’t stop paying the bills, putting gas in the car or buying groceries, but for the upcoming year my personal spending will be as close to $0 as is humanly possible. I’m going as far as to not carry any source of money (paper or plastic) with me on a daily basis. I thought about it a lot and I couldn’t think of any unavoidable situation where I would need immediate access to money. “Unavoidable” is of course the key word there. With the right planning I should be able to avoid any potentially problematic situation that might otherwise arise.

I am absolutely serious about this.

Side-effects will hopefully include: significantly less fast/junk food, significantly less carbonated/caffeinated beverage, and hopefully, a little weight lost in the process. I’m also going to stop surfing bargain sites *gasp* so maybe I’ll do some homework to pass the time instead, or maybe I’ll get around to playing with all the toys, games, and gadgets that I already own.

I don’t typically make new years resolutions, especially not written ones, but this is one that I intend to stick to. And you can all hold me to it a year from now. (assuming anyone still visits my blog, and I can’t blame anyone who doesn’t)

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I. Put your iTunes etc on shuffle.

II. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

III. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Township Rebellion

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Give Me a Call

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? D.J.’s

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? The Noose (yikes!)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? What She Said

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Miserable (sheesh!)

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Under Heaven’s Skies

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? Queer (erm…)

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? The Swiss Army Romance

10. WHAT IS 2+2? Sunday

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Secret

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Let Me Down

13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Don’t You Think

14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Funk Ad

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Gotta Know the Rules

16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Solutions

17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Aliens Exist

18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Breath

19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? The Gift

20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Days of the Week

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Scar Tissue

22. WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? Universally Speaking

23. HOW WILL YOU DIE? Bring Me To Life

24. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? Please Take Me Home

25. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? Self Esteem

26. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? Listening

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(X) Gone on a blind date
(X) Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
( ) Been to Canada
(X) Been to Mexico
(X) Been to Florida
(X) Been lost
(X) Been on the opposite side of the country
( ) Gone to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
( ) Cried your self to sleep
( ) Played cops and robbers
( ) Recently colored with crayons
(X) Sang Karaoke/Tried
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
(X) Made prank phone calls
( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
( ) Been skinny dipping outdoors
(X) Gone to the movies

1. Any nickname: Frik, Shaggy(many years ago)
2. Mother’s name: Lorna
3. Favorite drink? Coke Zero
4. Any Tattoo’s? No
5. Body piercing’s? No
6. Do U love your job? Yes
7. Ever seen or been in a tornado? No
8. Favorite vacation spot? Disney World
9. Ever been to Africa? No
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Yes
11. Been on TV? No
12. Ever stole a traffic sign? No
13. Ever been in a car accident? Several, but never with me at the wheel
14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? 4-door (hate 2-doors)
15. Favorite salad dressing? Ranch or caeser
16. Favorite Pie? Apple
17. Favorite number? 1
18. Favorite movie? V for Vendetta
19. Favorite holiday? Christmas
20. Favorite dessert? Not Sure
21. Favorite food? Yes please
22. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
23. Favorite brand of body wash? whatever’s cheap
24. Favorite Toothpaste? Colgate Total
25. Favorite smell? Food
26. What do you do to relax? Surf the net
27. How do you see yourself in 10 years? graduated
28. How many siblings do you have? 4
29. Furthest Place you will send this message? Virginia (physical location of my server)
30. Who will respond to this the fastest?

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